Selflessness and Ego

This is the talk from last nights Buddhist service, about the relationship between selfless love and Ego, inspired by a wedding I went to in which the Minister spoke profoundly about selfless love in one breath, and railed against gay marriage in the next....

"In one breath we can be inspired by selfless love. In the next breath we can say something that excludes someone, or hurts someone, speaking from the Ego instead of from selfless love."

download mp3 (10mb)

~Kaspa

Being in touch with eternity - The Larger Pureland Sutra

Download mp3 (12mb)

The opening of the Larger Pureland Sutra, with a few comments from Kaspalita.

A member of our local group suggested that we add a study session to our evening service once a month, I thought it was a great idea. We're going to be studying the Larger Pureland Sutra. We are using the Amida School version of the Sutra, which is a composite of various translations complied by Dharmavidya David Brazier for use by our Order.

Last night I read the first couple of pages of the Sutra (in which Ananda notices how radiant the Buddha is looking) and made a few opening remarks. This is what's been recorded. I stopped the tape before the discussion began as I didn't want to inhibit any of the conversation.

The reason for recording it is so that if anyone who usually comes to these sessions misses one they can catch up, although I hope that others will find something of interest here too.

Namo Amida Bu!

Listen to the audio: Download mp3 (12mb)

Discussion on Friends of Amida here: One: In touch with eternity 

Chanting... and more chanting

Yesterday Satya and I chanted Namo Amida Bu for seven hours continuously. Throughout the day we were joined by various Sangha members and friends who braved the snow. At nine o clock yesterday morning, after sliding on icy roads to the venue, I wondered if it might just be the two of us there, but nine other people came through the doors. There was probably only half an hour in the whole day when it was just Satya and me chanting.

At the final sharing, after the crescendo of nembutsu at the end of the day, one of the people said, "My first thought [when I heard what you were doing] was 'why?'"

For me, the answer comes in the experience of the practice. My first experience of continuous chanting was back in 2006. I moved into the Buddhist House community mid-November  and two weeks later was the Bodhi retreat, including a twenty-four hour chanting day.

I was up for the challenge of staying awake all night, and was full of fresh enthusiasm for this new practice, and my new way of life. At 3am I had forgotten the words we were supposed to be chanting. At 4am I was drumming, hitting the mokugyo, but I couldn't keep the rhythm. I was keeling over with tiredness, jerking awake, hitting the mokugyo, and falling asleep again. The bell master took pity on me, and rang the bell to signal the change from sitting to walking early. We stood up and marched around chanting. Staying awake.

What the continuous practice gave me then, and still gives me, is a deeper relationship with the practice of chanting the Buddha's name, and a deeper relationship with the Buddha. In the continuous practice you are turning yourself to the Buddha over and over again. Sometimes this happens consciously, but for me it's mostly unconscious. My thoughts wander far and wide but my voice keeps calling to the Buddha - and something sinks in. Something happens at the core of my being - I am pointed towards the light.

Sometimes this is blissful, sometimes it is painful (the light shows me how aching small and flawed I am), and sometimes I don't notice at all.

Towards the end of last week I was feeling very low. I was recovering from the flu, and had low energy, and low emotions. Feeling guilty about having missed a work of work, and goodness knows what else. Yesterday's chanting was an antidote to that. As soon as I settled onto my zafu, even before the chanting started, something began to lift.

Even before the chanting started. Because all those hours of chanting in previous years have given my relationship with the Buddha decent foundations, and yesterday just sitting in the shrine room was enough to remind me of that relationship, to plug me to the Buddha's energy.

This is what the continuous chanting gives me - decent foundations - so that when I say Namo Amida Bu a single time, every now and again, it connects with that well of experience in me. With that sense of knowing that there is something that accepts me (and you) just as we are.

This is why I ask others to join me, because my experience of a single nembutsu changed, deepened, when I put myself in a place of continuous recitation for decent lengths of time.

Honen said it was important to make time and space for chanting retreats, and I have to agree, it's good to do.

Namo Amida Bu. Namo Amida Bu. Namo Amida Bu. Namo Amida Bu.

I could have written an equally long post about the importance, and joy, of chanting with others, and I am grateful to every person that came through the doors yesterday, and everyone chanting all over the world.

Deeply selfish - deeply loved

Do you know the story of the hedgehog and the fox? It's based on a scrap of Greek text: "The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing"

The British philosopher Isiah Berlin used this to divide thinkers into two types, those who just had one big idea (how to roll in to a spiky ball when danger approaches) vs those who use lots of different ideas, like a cunning fox.

I used to think that if I knew one thing really well, if I was the absolute best I could be at that one thing, then I would be worth something. I used to think if I knew that one thing really well, it would excuse all the other areas of my life that I was dysfunctional in.

That didn't really work.

Then I heard about this quote, and Berlin's essay. I thought I should learn lots of different things. Perhaps this was the route to feeling valued in the world?

I built each of these ways of being into an impossible ideal and then failed at both of them. I'm not a very good hedgehog, and I'm not a very good fox.

Occasionally I get a glimpse of something beyond both of these. I realise my own ordinariness. I realise just how many of my actions are motivated by illusionary beliefs - that I need to be 'the best' in some way, to be worth anything at all, for example.

When I see this I also get a glimpse of something else. That I am okay just as I am. That I am valued (by the Buddhas) just as I am.

Master Dogen said, "Every being covers the ground it stands upon completely."

I don't need to be a hedgehog, or a fox. Being Kaspa is just fine.

This is one of the most profound and difficult things for me. I know myself and see how entrenchedly selfish I can be - to feel accepted at the same time is a deeply moving experience - and is at the heart of Pureland Buddhism.

*

image by dirtbikeDBA: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dirtbikedba/

What is the harvest of spiritual practice?

Happy Lammas everyone. 

I'd like to say a few words about this festival, and then I've an important announcement later, as well as a few dates for your diary.

Lammas is the old first-harvest festival traditionally celebrated on the 1st of August. This is when bread would be baked from the first wheat harvest of the year - a time for celebration.

When sowing wheat, we make sure the conditions are right for a good crop. We can influence some of these conditions, helping the soil become better, taking out the weeds and so on. But some of these conditions are outside our control. The weather, the history of the seeds and goodness knows what else.

Throughout the year we take care of the wheat as best we can, and providing all the conditions are right, we get a good crop and celebrate with a wonderful loaf of bread to share with our friends and neighbours.

Spiritual practice is like this too. There are some conditions we can control, (or at least, have the illusion of controlling) going to services, practicing at home, reflecting on our life and so on. There are some things outside our control, our karmic history, the dukkha that we will inevitably meet and even exactly when grace comes to us.

If we take care of our life as best we can, we will be able to collect the fruits of our harvest.  We feel touched by grace, or celebrate our practice in particular ways.

This harvest is important. The loaves of bread give sustenance to the farmers and allows them to keep sowing new seeds, to keep taking care of the earth, to practice in the best way they can. From a spiritual point of view, it's good to celebrate the loaf of bread, but what's really important is how we are in the world right now. How we face the conditions in our life today.

If we do this properly, it may or may not lead to a fantastic loaf of bread (although it probably will, someday) but we will discover the real rewards of the spiritual life are in the practice itself, right now.

Refuge Ceremony

Taking refuge is both a taking care of the conditions, and a fruit of practice at the same time. It is a celebration of ones confidence in the Buddhist path and a commitment to that path. It is the culmination os a set of conditions, and of past practice, and it is the foundation for going forwards.

On Wednesday 8th August Dawn Griffiths will be taking refuge in the five Pureland jewels. This will be part of our evening service at 7.30pm at The Wheel of Life.

It would be great to see you there.

Buddhist Study Morning

On 26th August we'll host a dharma study morning at our house, do reply to this email for more details or see our facebook event.

Retreat Day in Malvern

This will be on Saturday 8th September, a day of reflection and practice. Do reply to this email or see ourfacebook page.

Dharma videos

Before I sign off, I wanted to point you to the Amida Trust Youtube page. There's a video of a recent talk by my teacher, Dharmavida here, as well as Susthama chanting the four tone nembutsu.

Thank for reading, and Namo Amida Bu

Can love change people?

By Dharmavidya David Brazier

Can love change people?

Certainly. Love is simple, so when people come close to love they give up things less important.

Do you mean pure love? Some love is conditional whereas some...

All love is conditional.

All love is conditional?

In this world, yes. Unconditional love, you can say, belongs to heaven, to God's world, not to this one.

Why is it conditional?

Everything here is conditional, but the pure essence of love is inherent even in conditional love.

But conditional love creates conflicts.

Exactly. At the root of conflicts is love. People fight for what they love.

So at the root of all hate is love?

Yes. Love is not the elimination of conflict, but love can be more or less skilful.

So love is at the root of everything we do.

Yes, including the most stupid things.

But sometimes people are only aware of the hate.

The converse is also possible.

How so?

A soldier is aware, perhaps, of loving his country, but hardly sees the destruction he is inflicting. He is just doing a job.

But in other situations?

Similarly. In couples or in communities, for instance. Each fights for what they believe is right - what they love - but it does not co-incide with what the other thinks. The conflict then gets entrenched through self-righteousness. Fundamentally, each side of the conflcit is growing from a seed of love, but that does not prevent it becoming bitter. But this started with you asking about change...

Yes, how does one change such bitterness?

By, on the one hand, seeing the love in its simplicity and, on the other, seeing one's own propensity toward folly and realising how universal it is. The latter enables us to see that we are in a conditional world, the former to realise that in this very place we are blessed.

But to change one has to be willing.

Not necessarily. Not even commonly. People are changing all the time, mostly unconsciously.

So the fact that I want to change does not necessarily mean that I will?

Quite. We change when the conditions change. Also, mostly, we are not clear what we really want. People often think they want to change but do not want to change the conditions that keep them the way they are. When the conditions change in spite of themseves they change.

Not always for the better.

Correct.

But love changes...?

Because it is simple and fundamental. It is at the root of everything. It is like dying.

Like dying?

Yes, in love and death one gives up everything. Love and death together are enlightenment. Can you truly love at the point of death? Can you die in the midst of your love?

What does this mean?

To die in the midst of your love is to love more completely.

But still conditionally?

We are in the midst of conditions - there is nothing we can do about that - but to be aware of love is still liberating.

So some changes are due to change of conditions and some are due to love?

Yes, love, in its great simplicity, allows conditions to fall away. 'Let go of body and mind' the sages say. 'Return to the source'. Love is 'the spirit of the valley', like water naturally finding the lowest place. Where that place is depends on the conditions, but the water is always the same.

So understanding love and understanding our own conditioned nature will free us?

Yes, but not in the way that we initially expect. Initially we are like a person trying to make a bicycle stand up-right by using our own will. The bicycle does not stay up-right by our will. When the bicycle is in motion, we find we have a different kind of control. In the same way, understanding the human situation - love and our conditioned being - gives us a kind of balance that we did not expect but does not mean that we control things in the manner that we initially thought was essential yet so difficult.

So how can we gain this understanding of love?

Have the faith to love simply in your heart; do what needs doing in a loving way; notice one's own folly; smile at the human situation. We are all weak. we are all human. If we were not, love would be unnecessary. In effect, we change when we realise our weakness without losing sight of the love that enfolds us.

by David Brazier

image by nyoin

Introducing zazen to our evening service

I'm going to be introducing a more rigorous meditation practice into the regular evening service. In the space where we sit quietly I'll be leading Zazen, in the Soto-Zen style. In this kind of meditation we see the body/mind treated as a single thing, not two separate things. Zazen is a meditation of posture as much as it is about the mind. When the body is still and balanced the mind becomes still and balanced. 

The reason I'm warning you in advance is because you might want to bring your own cushion (see below).

I know we briefly talked about posture a few months ago, after one of our services, but I'm writing to mention it again. The ideal posture for this kind of meditation is full or half-lotus. You can also sit in what is called Burmese posture.

The aim of these three postures is to create a balanced tripod to rest the trunk of your body on. If you are sitting in one of these postures you may need a firm cushion to raise your bottom about six-inches off the floor. I use a couple of yoga blocks at the wheel of life, but there are not many there. If you have a yoga block or firm cushion, please do bring it with you. Or do what I have just done and order a zafu (mediation cushion).

You can also use a meditation bench, in a kneeling posture, which some people find very comfortable and produces the same balanced effect. You can also sit on a chair, some people use a wedge shaped cushion to help create the right balanced position on a chair.

That's my introduction, I wanted to leave you with a few words from Dogen, who created the Soto school in medieval Japan and introduced this kind of sitting to Japan:

"At your sitting place, spread out a thick mat and put a cushion on it. Sit either in the full-lotus or half-lotus position. In the full-lotus position, first place your right foot on your left thigh, then your left foot on your right thigh. In the half-lotus, simply place your left foot on your right thigh. Tie your robes loosely and arrange them neatly. Then place your right hand on your left leg and your left hand on your right palm, thumb-tips lightly touching. Straighten your body and sit upright, leaning neither left nor right, neither forward nor backward. Align your ears with your shoulders and your nose with your navel. Rest the tip of your tongue against the front of the roof of your mouth, with teeth together and lips shut. Always keep your eyes open, and breathe softly through your nose.  

"Once you have adjusted your posture, take a breath and exhale fully, rock your body right and left, and settle into steady, immovable sitting. Think of not thinking. Not thinking. What kind of thinking is that? Nonthinking. This is the essential art of zazen. 

"The zazen I speak of is not meditation practice. It is simply the dharma gate of joyful ease, the practice-realization of totally culminated enlightenment. It is the koan realized; traps and snares can never reach it. If you grasp the point, you are like a dragon gaining the water, like a tiger taking to the mountains. For you must know that the true dharma appears of itself, so that from the start dullness and distraction are struck aside."

You can read the whole text here: Fukanzazengi

Hope to see you all soon, although I know some of you will already be at Buddhafield on Wednesday, if you are going, I'll see you at the weekend!

With love, Namo Amida Bu